After making the best decision of my life, I felt obligated to share that experience, while also receiving insight from others. Although many of us are very different from one another, we all have one thing in common. We made a big decision to move away from home with our significant other.
All of us had our current lives to consider, friends and family to leave, fears to consolidate and realistic scenarios to work out. Moving in itself is a scary thing to do, let alone with someone who you may be with for a very long time. I can assure you that whatever decision you do end up making will be the right one, even if it takes a couple times. Because what’s meant to be, will always be, as cliche as that sounds.
You may not know if you should go through with it, but we all hope this inspires you to.
Jamie & Mike
“Mike and I started dating in July of 2014 and always talked about how great it’d be to move in together because being functioning adults, (having a job and other responsibilities creating a full schedule all the time) and living at home with parents wasn’t a FUN time for either of us. We really only ever got to see each other on the weekends because during the week we were both just too tired to function after all of the events of the day. Mike is a comedian so he is always busy going to open mics, doing shows and writing. I’m a high school science teacher…everyone knows teachers bring home more work than they should so I’ll let that speak for itself.
In October of 2016 I got a job about 45 minutes away from home (North Babylon, NY) in Great Neck, NY. Mikes day job is close to NB, but he always wanted to live close to NYC to be “where its at” for his career in comedy. In order for both of us to grow as individuals (and for me to drastically cut my commute time down), we decided to move to Queens. This would mean that both of us would be closer to where we needed to be. SO, after weeks of going and looking at apartments and dealing with crazy real estate brokers (some that we still laugh about to this day) we found the perfect apartment for us. Moving in was crazy, moving heavy hand-me-down furniture through the snow in Queens is enough to make the nicest person snap. But we made it through and naturally got pizza to aid our woes once everything was all in one place.
The thing I was most afraid of was not having any family close by. I grew up with my mom and sister and my family was only ever 15-20 minutes away. Moving to Queens meant that I was 45 minutes away from anyone in any given direction. Being in the apartment was weird. It wasn’t what I was used to. There were tears, but I like to call them growing pains tears. I knew I definitely didn’t want to move back home, but I think part of me was sad I felt that way. Over time I’ve grown used to being in the apartment, even by myself (since Mike is gone so much for comedy shows, this happened pretty fast). We went from sleeping on Long Island every weekend to only going out to my moms to do laundry (I refuse to pay for laundry in the building). What I was afraid of most before moving in with Mike was if we would still get along as well as we did before. This was quickly overcame because I think we laugh more now than we did when we were living at home. We often say to each other “I love living with you” because its Gods honest truth. I never knew that food shopping together, making dinner for him, eating it together (and watching h
im clean it all up) could be so much fun and mean so much to me. We’ve been in the apartment for 7 months and are 100% renewing the lease when it comes time to in February. We love our little abode!! We can’t wait to keep coming home to each other.
As sappy as that sounds, I’m happy to share it 🙂 I’d suggest to anyone who is thinking about moving in with their SO to go with their gut. If they are reluctant due to negative thoughts or ideas, trust your instincts. In my case, I couldn’t stand only seeing Mike on weekends. It just wasn’t enough. I still feel that way sometimes with our busy schedules, but at least now I know he’ll be in the same bed as me every night and waking up with me in the mornings.”
Shannon & Matt
“Matt and I have been friends since sophomore year of college and started dating during “our” Senior year. He graduated a year before I finished grad school and moved to Columbus for a job, where I was also able to find a job following my graduation in 2016. After about a year and a half of living in Columbus, we started talking about our future and where we wanted our next home to be. Over this past summer, we visited Chicago and talked pretty often about how much we loved the city and that we thought that could be our new home, and that started our hunt for our new home.
Overwhelmingly quickly, we started interviewing for jobs in the Windy City and the next thing we knew Matt received a job offer in Chicago! It was terrible timing, as Matt was in D.C. for work for two weeks and I had to take in all this news alone. As much as I was excited for him, the thoughts of student loans, paying the full rent and bills, and having no income or benefits scared me to death. He only had one day to respond to the offer, and panic set in. Embarrassingly, I didn’t handle the situation the best at first; I immediately started panicking and didn’t show him how happy I was for him. After talking to some amazing and understanding friends (shout out to you, Jess!) I was convinced that I should tell him to take the job. I knew he was my person and that we had to take leaps together, and this was it for us! I let him know that it may be a month or two while I looked for jobs before I finally moved there for good, but I was definitely coming with him. After deciding on this huge decision together, and still having no job in Chicago, I was feeling anxious about what I was going to do. A week after this life changing decision, I FINALLY received the call I had been waiting for. I got a new job in Chicago, too! Things couldn’t have worked out more perfectly and I am so relieved and happy that I said I would go from the start. It may not have seemed like the best timing originally, but we lucked out and we know this was a sign we made the best decision for us.
This weekend (9/17) we are making the big move to Chicago & we are so anxious for our future there. If I could tell anyone what to do in this situation it’s “Do it, and never look back”. I am so lucky I had a great support system to help me get through this and tell me I was making the best decision for us. We are so eager to get to Chicago & start our new big city life ♥”
Mike & Olivia
“My name is Mike and I’m from Long Island, New York. I began dating my girlfriend Olivia in April, 2014 while we were both seniors in college together on Long Island. From the start Olivia was honest with me regarding her future plans to move to the west coast. That did not stop me from wanting to see her while on Long Island. We were in college and adulthood seemed too far away to worry about parting ways.
As time went on and our feelings grew stronger the west coast move for Olivia became more and more real. In April 2015 Olivia and I visited her father (currently living in the Seattle area working for Boeing). This trip was my first journey to the west coast. With an anticipated move date for the rest of Olivia’s family in late 2015, she used this trip to go to job interviews. I also decided to take this opportunity to apply to police agencies in the WA area.
Needless to say I was captured by the beauty of WA state during this visit. I was in awe of the towering mountains, rich fragrant forests, and overall beauty. This was the first moment I realized I could see myself moving elsewhere with Olivia.
Olivia and her family relocated to the Seattle area in October 2015. Olivia was moving onto her second “big girl” job while I was 2000 miles east struggling to find my first “big boy” job. The first few months were difficult as we tried to stay positive through a time of uncertainty.
In December 2015 I received a job offer from a Seattle area police agency. I was finally faced with my first “yes/no” decision so to speak. My options were to decline the offer and hold out for a job closer to home, or take the plunge and move across the country with Olivia.
Many factors weighed into this decision. After months of being apart from Olivia I wanted nothing more than to be with her. Financially moving to WA made much more sense than continuing to live on overpriced, expensive Long Island. At the same time I felt stifled by the Long Island way of life. I yearned for this opportunity to break out of my NY shell. On the flip side I did not want to leave my family, friends, and the small world that is Long Island, NY.
This crossroads was a particularly difficult time for Olivia and I. Olivia struggled to play a neutral part in supporting whatever decision I decided to make. Olivia wanted me to solely make this decision on my own with no bias coming from any outside sources. I can not thank her enough for how she handled this situation. I know she wanted nothing more than to be together in a new state taking the next big step in our relationship.
I decided the pros outweighed the cons of moving to WA. I knew if things did not work out I would have my family and friends on Long Island to move back to and fall back on. In January 2016, I moved to the Seattle area and rejoined Olivia. This was by far the best decision I have made in my entire life.
Our relationship has flourished from the get-go. We’ve gone through the typical growing pains most couples go through when moving in together. However, our relationship could not be better.
Olivia and I have been together for 3.5 years now. We make a strong effort to return to Long Island to visit friends and family. Although it is difficult at tim
es being so far from the place I’ve called home, frequent communication and visits to and from family make it work.
I would advise anyone who considers moving for their significant other to ensure they can see a future with that person. I would advise not moving SOLELY for your significant other. I would make sure there is something in it for you individually as well (for me it was the job/willingness to explore).
Overall I love my day to day life with this woman. I do not regret a single moment or decision I have made with Olivia. ”
Nicole & Jonathan
“I moved with my husband from Maryland where we grew up to Seattle in 2012 for my husband’s job. We’d been together for six years at that point and had just gotten married. We’ve now lived here and been married for 5 years now. It was hard when we first moved here because we knew only a few people. It was also tough because we my mom had some health issues so I was back and forth between the coasts quite frequently. In some ways, this kept me from really settling in our new place for a while because I was always going back and forth.
One of the hardest things was leaving friends and family behind. My siblings are all younger than me, and for those first few years, I feel like I missed out on so much of their lives by being away.
Quite frankly, Seattle seemed to always be in heart for some reason. Despite never having been here before moving, I felt drawn to the Pacific Northwest and was really glad we got to be here. Adjusting to city life was SO hard, though. It was very, very different from everything I had ever known. It took about 3 years for me to really feel comfortable in this environment.
My advice to others would be embrace the experience and be prepared to cope. There are a lot of cool things about moving to a new place with your significant other, but it’s also hard to leave all of your other relationships behind. Find new ways to stay in touch with your friends and family. Whether it’s letters, social media, FaceTime or phone calls, those methods of communication are really valuable in keeping those connections alive and strong.
I’d also like to say get out and meet new people as soon as possible. This is something I kind of put off for a while (and now actually most of my friendships started online and turned into IRL relationships which is pretty cool!). But the sooner you do it, the better you’ll feel. Make sure to establish yourself in your new place outside of your relationship. In other words, do things for YOU and do them ALONE. It’s really important to establish your own identity outside of your relationship.”
Alena & Myles
“Where to even start…
So, as you know, Myles and I met at WVU. We talked on and off for about 6 months. I knew from the beginning that he wasn’t just another random guy in Mo-town. Neither of us were sure of what was going to happen when he graduated and moved back to Long Island, so we never actually made it official. I was scared, SO scared, to lose him.
The year passed quickly and we both realized that we didn’t want to be without each other.After basically preparing to say goodbye to him forever (dramatic, but I didn’t know what to expect), he finally asked me to move with him a few months before he graduated. Of course, I said yes, without hesitation. We were so unprepared for anything to come, so we started taking baby steps. Myles moved home after graduation in May of 2016. After my lease was up in July, I decided to move home to save money.
We did long distance for about a year. I looked and looked and LOOKED for an apartment and just kept striking out. I was slowly trying to prepare myself. I picked up hours at work, I started saving every penny, researching how to switch my insurance, how to get my NYS license, looking for jobs, etc. It was getting so exciting, but also overwhelming. Nothing was falling into place the right way. We decided to live with his family for a while to save up (horrible idea, but thankfully we weren’t there too long). Finally, we set a date for me to actually move to Huntington.
I never knew how much I was actually leaving behind though. It’s been about 5 months already, and I miss my family and friends more than ever. It’s definitely hard being away from everyone. Moving from rural West Virginia to Long Island, New York is definitely not what I expected to do, but I’m still glad I did. It’s expensive. It’s crowded. It’s FLAT (I love my mountains). But, it’s beautiful. I have a job. I’m paying my bills. I have an amazing place to live (thanks to this pretty cool girl I met on Facebook)! But more than anything, I have the love of my life here beside me, helping me th
rough my worst days and celebrating the best.
My advice: DO IT. Life is WAY too short to worry about the small stuff. I’ve learned that taking risks is what life is about, especially with the right person. After a short 2 years with Myles, I know now more than ever, that I wouldn’t change a thing. The grass isn’t always greener, but if you don’t step into new pastures, you’ll never know what you might be missing.”
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Nicole & Justin
“In June of 2017 I moved from Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, to Worcester, Massachusetts. Before anyone brings up Google maps, it was a nine-hour drive after stopping for gas and food and to stretch. In the few days leading up to my major move in my super old car, I felt very calm and was not nervous or anxious at all, which is why I knew it was the best decision to make.
Let’s go back to November 2009, when Justin asked me to be his girlfriend in our junior year of high school. We were 16, and no, we do not have some romantic Disney story of being together every minute of college, but we have an amazing story of tough times and unhappy times fighting for our relationship. College is hard for everyone and while we were not always in a Facebook-official situation, we still spent all of our time together and were each other’s best friend. Now its 2017 and we are 24, however anyone wants to add it up we’ve been doing this for a real long time. Moving in with Justin, also eight hours from our hometown, was not like playing house, because we know each other inside and out.
Justin moved to Worcester in August of 2016 to chase his dreams of doing sports play-by-play and it was hard to be so far apart but we made a really big effort to visit each other. This was essentially why I moved as well, to be with him but also improve my opportunities of working in sports, where the market was too saturated competition wise at home.
My biggest fear was that things would go south with our relationship by adding the stress of bills and financial things that we hadn’t had to worry about before, and I would be stuck in a town where I don’t know anyone or I would have to move back home. I’ve learned mostly that we are better off being in this together than apart, which is tough now that I’ve moved to New Hampshire for a big opportunity, but close enough that we get some weekends together.
I am still having a hard time with his living situation because he has a roommate (that I also lived with) and while she is pretty cool I just want us to have our own space, and living with another person while you’re adjusting to living together is annoying enough which I don’t think I have to explain. If I was still in Worcester full time we would have moved out by now.
For those considering moving with, or to be with, their significant other, the best advice I can give you is this: other people’s opinions about what you do with your life are completely irrelevant. Yes, I want my friends to support me, but there are going to be people who think you are crazy, LET THEM. As long as you and your boo are happy, who cares what other people say.”
Twitter – @NicoleCurtin_
Insta – nicolercurtin
Karli & Greg
communication is key. If there isn’t a strong communication foundation where you can talk it out, then that will certainly cause issues later on. The only thing I have a hard time with is being a plane ride away from friends and family. Although that sounds dramatic, it’d be much easier to hop in my car and be there in minutes.
Jess & Jamie
“I met Jamie in 2012. We were juniors in college and attending a crazy, outgoing unfathomable university in the middle of nowhere. We spent a lot of our weekends together. It started out as a simple, fun and sometimes confusing relationship, but we just went with the flow to see where things would take us. It wasn’t until 2014 that we officially starting dating, after getting to know each other enough and experiencing some pretty great memories together.
Once our college lives were over, things changed tremendously. We would no longer live within a few miles in our fantasy college town, but rather a few states away. I’m from Long Island, New York and He’s from Boston, Massachusetts. Rivalries by definition, obviously distinguishable accents and opposite personalities. I have to admit, it was really hard at first. Jamie landed an amazing job opportunity in Sweden where he would live abroad for a year. Not even expecting it, he asked me to go with him. So I did. And I regretted it very much.
When someone asks you to take a leap like that it sounds great and exciting but also very scary in theory. I wasn’t sure what to expect or how we would be once living together or if I would find a job or even like the country I’m staying in. Sweden, as clean and beautiful as it is, was very dark and cold during the winter months. The sun sets at 3pm everyday which contributed to this constant dreary atmosphere. I didn’t feel at home, I was actually very sick for weeks and had no luck finding a job. Because although Sweden is the second largest english speaking country, you had to be able to speak Swedish too.
So what did I do? I left. I wanted out and I wanted to go back home to find a job in the city I always saw myself doing great things in. I went home knowing our relationship would be extremely tampered with and pretty much impossible to continue. And I was actually okay with it at the time.
A year goes by that Jamie & I are apart and although I found the perfect job experience for me in new York City, something was still missing. I missed him more than anything, even if I was reluctant to admit it. Once he came back to the states he was off again to a faraway place for work. California. He asked the question again. This time, I wasn’t so quick to say yes, because I knew I had a lot of things to consider. If it didn’t work out last time, why should it this time? What if I want to come back home again? Moving there meant quitting my job in NY and having to start over, again. The thought terrified me and I was also afraid of what my friends and family would think. “Is she crazy for trying to do this again?” Surprisingly, I received a lot of support and encouragement to do it.
So… after a year of time apart, reuniting and realizing we just can’t live without each other, I did it again. I quit my job as a manager of an off-site events venue, I packed up my things from my pretty-much-rent-free Long Island house, said bye to my best friends and caught a plane in the beginning of summer.
And I’m so glad I did. California, in my opinion, is the most beautiful state in the entire country. The weather is perfect, the people are kind, the sightseeing is never-ending and the opportunities are endless. With my luck and positive attitude, I found a job within the first month of my move, at one of the best consulting firms you can work for with the most amazing company culture I’ve witnessed.
My advice for anyone who is leaning toward doing this, would be to definitely know for sure that this person is worth the change. Changes, as great as they can be, are overwhelming and tough to adjust to. The person you’re making the change for should be willing to help you adjust in any way they can, while also receiving help from you. Because the move, wherever it will be, is going to take team work, commitment and understanding. Make sure you have enough money saved, a need and want to leave the life you have now and a game plan for if it doesn’t workout. Always protect yourself.
If you’re wondering how things are working out for us now, well all I can say is I pray to God every night that he didn’t let me give up just yet. I’m the happiest I’ve been in my entire life and I blame Jamie for that. He’s my best friend and I can’t even stand to be away from him for a couple hours.
Everyday is exciting, adventurous and full of laughter. He gets me and accepts me for all I am, even my weird side. We make compromises, we love each other in every way we can and we stay strong. I’m at awe everyday with this life we’re living and can’t believe how far we’ve come. Life, as hard as it is as we get older, is just so much better and easier with him by my side.
If you aren’t sure about what to do still, I hope this at least gave you some insight on what it will be like. I personally think it’s always worth a try, as long as you truly love the person. You may be leaving a lot, but you could also be gaining so much more. I know I did.”